Wake-up

Thunder and Rain in the air
Signs of the times around
Darkness envelops mind and soul
Zeal is lost, life opened a wound

Heavy breath takes my inside away
Mind says..How I wish, I had my say
Tears run down, for they are destined
Soul is heavy, but pain is going away

Cheer up my dear !!! Sun will break
Dawn will usher in new rays of sunshine
Light drives away the darkness of soul
Wake up... This is God's sign

You need to be loved, caressed, cajoled
Child... Come let me embrace you
Life is beautiful and long road.. Don't worry
There are many who still love you

Love your self, Love your soul
Stand on your feet, drive away the blue
Draw the sword of confidence, Wear the belief jewel
Wake up oh queen.. The world needs you

warrior princess

Swinging her sword, she lunges towards me
Pushes the sword right into my chest
Killer instinct in her mind, to kill me
Yet unknown to her she resists

Oblivious of the physical pain
Smile escapes my lips
Glint in my eyes, I speak
"What is your name, miss?"

Angry as a smoking dragon
She snorts away, "How dare you?"
I hold her hand and look deep
"I know.. I don't require a clue"

Perceive I could the hidden language
Unspoken words from the glittering eyes
Tough exterior masks the real truth
For the real you is a beautiful surprise

Anger is a veil of hidden emotions
Perceive I can for I am aware
The need for warmth and love
Come my dear.. for I do care

paths

Standing on the cross roads

Gaze away at the two paths ahead

Unknown, apprehensive, confused

Results of my choice I dread

Teacher called life awaits

Experiences, value of which is immense

Clear yet confused, Brave yet scared

Words are missing for my defense

Faith in God, I take the plunge

Deep I go into the unknown territory

Sit I will one day, chart down my thoughts

Come my child, I will tell you the story

Saraswati Pooja

Dasara (I prefer to stick to my wonderful mother tongue, Kasturi Kannada) celebrates the various forms of divine feminine and one such form is Mother Saraswati. Born as manasaputri of Brahma, she is recognized as the god of learning and knowledge. She became Brahma's consort over a period of time and desceneded on earth as a river to carry the fire that threatened to burn down the world into the depths of ocean. She is also known as "Shonapunya" i.e. one who is purified of blood due to a curse by Sage Viswamitra. In traditional paintings, she is typically represented with a slight smile and in a white saree depicting purity and serenity.

River Saraswati is an integral part of Hindu mythology and as a lost river, has a lot of reverence and myth built around it. River Saraswati was an integral part of Amish's trilogy on Shiva (The Immortals of Meluha, The Secret of Nagas and The Oath of Vayuputras). 

Human civilization thrived on the banks of Saraswati giving rise to a whole new community called Saraswat Brahmins, an offshoot of which is the Goud Saraswat Brahmins (GSB) to which a lot of Konkani and some Marathi Brahmins belong. 

In this age, the importance of Saraswati is very crucial and her essence is of primal importance. As the goddess of learning, she is constantly delivering a message that education is the way to attain realization. Note that the education is not about rote learning and being able to perform a written diahorrea of what one has memorized, loosing the very essence and importance of what was read.

Education is about erasing the darkness of the mind and opening up the same to newer possibilities and newer experiences. Education is to provide the humans the ability to transcend the pre-conceived notions an d being able to look through a new window, walk through a new door and be able to provide a newer perspective and newer outlook. For a lower income classes, education provides a ticket to financial freedom. The importance of Indian IT industry and it's ability to provide a relatively better lifestyle to a largese of population is never lost. 

True education is about observation, analysis, interpretation and implementation. A subject needs to observe the environment, question the very fundamentals and reasons of why something is happening and what are the driving factors for the same. Observation throws up newer facts which needs to be Analyzed, impartially and unconditionally. Analysis tends to be biased due to human tendency, but the sheer ability of a human to transcend this barrier enables the subject to newer realities and experiences. Analysis provides data points which needs to be interpreted and fit into the model which is the crux for the problem under consideration. Once the perspectives are available, it boils down to implementation and the cycle starts again.

Interestingly, debugging in software parlance follows a similar pattern. 

Today's world is in state of constant conflict and I feel the pervalence of Mother Saraswati is far more important than ever. I hope she provides the humans to look inside than outside and attain true knowledge. 

I bow down to thee mother who is responsible for being able to uplift us from lower strata of society and providing us with a better quality of life.

I bow down to thee mother who has enabled me to get exposed to a wider spectrum of thoughts, humungous ocean of knowledge and provided me with an opportunity to try and introspect oneself's beliefs and thoughts.

I bow down to thee mother who inspires me to spread her message and whose sheer presence gives me the comfort that her presence in my life ensures that I can face challenges thrown up by life.

Footnotes: Over time, I have visited multiple temples, but Saraswati has an integral role in my life. Some temples of interest are

1. Sringeri Sharadha Peetam

2. Koothanur Saraswati Temple

Happy Saraswati Pooja.

Unfinished Journey - Part I

I write this as I stand at the cusp of one of the most important days of my life. A day which forever transformed me, from a boy to a man. A day when I became self-sufficient and self-reliant. The day I started my career.

It's been quite a journey laden with varied experiences and explicit memories. Journey this long wouldn't be complete without it's own share of ups and downs. Sometimes more downs than one could fathom or comprehend. Looking back, one can't help but laugh at the goof-ups and screw-ups by me. However, one undisputable fact remains. I am rich with experience and wealthy with wisdom. 

Starting my journey quite a long time ago .. not so long compared to others, sometimes it looks a miracle that I have lasted this long, I remember every single important moment of my career. This is a pensive of memories for me or someone like me to come and read at a later point of time. I am deliberately leaving names out, but for some it should be quite apparent. 

First job, First day, First friend... Fortunate to have met this guy from a similar college.. An amazing human being, a hard-worker and as it proved later an excellent role model and mentor. He is doing well for himself and I wish he continues to excel always..

First job was also laden with rich real-life experiences of what Pygmalion was and how it could impact us. It was also a real live demonstration of what human ego can achieve when channelized. Don't get me wrong, I meant it in a positive manner. Actually, it landed me to take a leap of faith and switch jobs, which was actually a big deal considering my back-ground of coming from a traditional and conservative family. 

Of course, justice can't be done to the first job experience without mentioning a couple of role-models, one an unassuming genius with a golden heart who practiced the-right-hand-must-not-know-the-left-hand policy in philanthropy. The other was an energetic and bubbly individual who constantly pushed himself to excel.. something I want to imbibe. Of course, my last mentor was a gem and I feel sorry that I had quit days after he became my mentor formally.

26 Jan 2001 was a turning point in my life. Gujarat earthquake with widespread destruction was a national tragedy. It also happened to be my first tryst with "Education doesn't breed civility or humanity" experience.

Ok.. with 15 months under my belt I jumped to my next job which I call as the first golden phase of my career. Compared to a lot of guys these days, I did land up spending quite a few years in this job. Start-up happened to me unknowingly and without design, something I am thankful to the almighty for. It was one hell of a ride, both for the company and for me. I saw the passion and dedication of few individuals which landed up creating jobs for 400+ people and enriching them financially when a logical point was hit. It was one hell of a ride with a constant endeavor to better oneself. 

4.5 years is quite a long time to have a lot of pleasant and unpleasant experiences. Sometimes, these experiences can leave a scar on memory, but as time passes by, one would learn to cope with it as just yet another event. I am touch with a large population of my colleagues and I am sure I can write an paragraph for each one of them (being an relatively early member helps :)).

First, the guy whose dream transformed and shaped the dreams of a lot of people, inculcating long standing values into us. The definition of passion, commitment and dedication can't find a better example than this individual.  He is a never-ending movie that never ceases to amaze and his ingenuity and brilliance was a masterclass. Just sample this. He is about to embark on a meeting with a client. He picks up the lonely planet book about this place, familiarizes himself and then quotes local idioms to break the ice. Brilliant.. A widely read person whose quotes were an inspiration, he remains my inspiration to become an entrepreneur like him or atleast an inspirational leader. And oh!! When we made money through the sale of the company, he led the way in Philanthropy by contributing a significant sum to different causes. An outstanding human being.

Next, I can't forget the guy who was my manager (I still would like to call him the same). An amazing and wonderful human being, his brilliance and dedication is on-par with the previous individual. His passion to constantly expand his horizons and keep pushing his boundaries was not very apparent that time. As they say, Everything is obvious in hindsight. He remains a good friend, an amazing technical brain (one of the best in my view) and inspiration for many. For me, he has remained the same in the last ~14 years I know him. 

I was blessed to meet another role-model in the form of another manager. His simplicity and down-to-earth demeanor remains an inspiration for me. A complete team man, a very humble person and an amazing human being....He is by far definitely one of the top managers I have had the privilege to work with. 

My peers or rather my competitors as I used to think at that time. A set of highly motivated individuals, these guys were absolute brilliant. I may not have expressed in as many words, but guys, it was an honor and privilege to have worked with you. 

My team.. Oh yes !! The guys who endured the unflinchingly, unassumingly, raw ME.. It was quite a journey and requires a dedicated chapter sometime. However, it would be quite unfair if I don't remember a few individuals. 

First, my little brother or the one I considered as one. Time, people, Chinese whispers destroyed the beautiful relationship we had. It has mended over time, but never is same as the time we had fun. He is doing well for himself and I am sure he will definitely achieve the highest echelons in life. 

Next, an absolute inspiration. A girl who was very silent, fiercely independent, but brilliant individual. She is one of the inspirations who prooved that belief, time, space and opportunity can make anyone a superstar. She is an amazing individual whose later avatar literally made me realize, how wrong we are judging the book by it's cover. She remains a dear friend and I am sure she will continue to excel.. as always..

Along with her, is another girl who is an amazing person, sure about what she wanted in life and continues to tread this path. 

Last of my team mates has a special connection with Gandhi Jayanthi. This person proved what positive pygmalion can achieve and achieve he did. Standing the cusp of one of the most important decisions in life, he demonstrated what belief can truly achieve in life. He is definitely one of my inspirations and am sure he will do very well (which he is already). 

Many more are there whom I left out, but I want to end the list of persons with one whom we lost forever. An amazing human being and a role model for a young kid like me from my first job, this guy was a living example of what I wanted to become. Fate had different designs and we lost him forever. When we were waiting for his mortal remains, one of the guys commented, "Did we require this incident to convene together", which continues to haunt me till this day.

This job gave me everything in personal life. Tragedy struck in the form of my mother's death. However, the scene where around 10 Qualis vehicles came and all my colleagues were there with me will forever remain etched in my mind. This phase also included my marriage and the birth of my first child, events that are truly memorable. Of course, I can't forget the ice-cream treat I hosted for 20 ladies in Corner House and their reciprocation in the form of a picture and the gift, which remains a treasure for me. 

Culmination of my journey here laid the foundation for my home. The money I got from ESOP became my seeding capital for my home and the fact I write this from the comfort of my home is truly because of this job. 

Memories, some pleasant and some unpleasant remain. However, I will forever treasure the experiences and people whom I was privileged to meet. I have purposefully left out my gang of 4 friends as I think that relationship requires a dedicated section in future. 

Next, a giant leap of faith and an amazing roller-coaster ride. However, one part of mine died with my second job. The rat-race of who-earns-more was something I left behind and I don't regret the decision till date. Pity, I didn't realize it earlier.

To be continued...

Nanna Malleshwara

Recently, I read a wonderful article that led me to relive my life from 3 decades ago and about my favorite place in the world, Malleshwaram.

History:

Malleshwaram is actually known as Kadu Malleshwara named after the resident deity on 15^th Cross, Sampige Road. The temple dedicated to Shiva is one of the oldest ones in the country dating quite a few centuries back to Shivaji era. A visit to this temple is not complete without visiting the other temples which are literally a stone’s throw away viz., Nandi Teertha, Lakshmi Narasimha Swamy, Shirdi Sai Baba and Gangamma temples. I particularly find a lot of peace of mind and solace in Narasimha Swamy temple, a reason I am quite unable to fathom.

Culture:

I was literally not born in Malleshwaram, but from Day 0 of my life, it has been my address in this wide world. My parents had been residing in Malleshwaram for more than 2 decades before I was born. Born into a family of shop-keepers, interacting with wider public was programmed into my DNA from the very day I set my foot in this world.

Generally, one part of Malleshwaram is considered to be a Tam-Bram (Tamilian Brahmin) area. However, the notion of Malleshwaram is subjective and depends on one’s own interpretation.  For me, growing up on 8^th Main road, the arterial road that connects Yeshwanthpura to downtown Sheshadripuram upto Majestic serves as the backbone for Malleshwaram. Few words are not sufficient to do justice to what it meant for me, but I will capture some key points which I feel have been influential in shaping me the way I am.

First, I grew up to be respectful of all human beings irrespective of caste, creed, religion or social status. So, I was naturally ingrained to address others as Patis (Grandmother in Tamil), Anna/Akka (Elder Brother/Sister sometimes used for father/mother in some sections), Aunty/Atthe (Aunt) and Uncles. The fact that this came naturally to me was a testament to environment I grew up in.

So, my news-paper vendor friend was Sunder Anna, my neighbor uncle was Setu Mama (Marwari), my shop owner as Seenu Mama etc. Being a foodie, I can’t forget the Ven Pongal and Chakkera Pongal prepared by Janaki Amma, who was literally a grand-motherly figure for me. Another person I do remember a lot is Akkal (Akka means elder sister) who happened to be mother of a famous doctor. The respect that doctor uncle and his sister showered on their mother has stayed with me forever. I learnt the word “humility” from them for their unassuming nature constantly showering unconditional love irrespective of my social status. In fact, till this date, I feel that this date it’s my opinion that we should respect one and all as humans and not based on socio-economic status.

Is it all about Tam-Bram? Oh no.. far from it.I don't wish to create a laundry list, but Malleshwaram is one big diaspora comprising of lot of people from different castes. I can’t forget St. Peter’s seminary where the brothers used to play cricket and basketball with us. One of the key events in my life is attached to the Christ The King church on fag end of 8^th Main, very close to Yeshwantpura. The church on Christmas Eve is a must visit.

On the other end, Mohammaden block is a muslim dominated area. I have very fond memories of this place as it used to house a lot of my class mates from high school and PUC. These guys are the reason why I learnt to ride a bike (first without gears and finally, a geared motor cycle). We didn’t know what was Hindu – Muslim at that time. We were just friends or dosts. For me, it remains true till date.

In Malleshwaram, you were just a Malleshwaram Huduga (boy). I am definitely proud of my up-bringing and will forever be one.

Sights, Sounds and Smells:

How can I write about Malleshwaram and not write about the sounds and smells of the place? I can’t do complete justice to the Foodie’s Heaven called Malleshwaram, but this is a small humble attempt.

Life started at 5 am to prepare a long day ahead. One of the key sounds was the siren from BHEL at 7 am. Of course, our shop was open and running catering to all the people running for their first shift. People from BHEL, BEL, Mysore Lamps, Kirloskar used to throng our shop. However, one of the moving and permanent images in my mind has been of the 7.30 am bus. This bus was from Spastic Society of India and used to pick-up these kids whom God had designed to be special. I am refraining from using the words mentally challenged or developmentally challenged, for they are my god’s chosen angels. I wish I could do something for them..

Schools were next and being a part-stationary shop, the hues and colors of the school uniforms always painted a wonderful picture. Whether it was the Green of Nirmala Rani or White-Navy Blue of KV Malleshwaram or my alma matter, the checks and muddy brown of MES, the colors never ceased to amaze. Wonder if I will be able to get them into one single frame.

Sights and Sounds formed one part of my life, but the most interesting one is the food.. Yumm. Being a foodie, I always used to relish the different flavors of different cuisine dished out by different parts of Malleshwaram. Right up on the list is Janaki Amma’s Chakkera Pongal, but I am considering this as family. I haven’t captured my mom’s cooking, which was fantastic and out of the world. One of the most versatile and multi-talented cook, she remains my inspiration, something I want to rediscover.

Food, Malleshwaram and the first name is CTR (Central Tiffin Room) now named Shree Sagar right bang in the middle of Malleshwaram Circle Margosa Road. The Benne Masala Dose, Filter Coffee and Goli Bajje are part of the folklore and it’s a pilgrimage to visit this place once in a while. Masala Dosa, Filter Coffee and Malleshwaram have another key point, Janata Hotel on 8^th Cross close to Sampige Road. Asha Sweets is a legend and people swear by their name till this date. Smell of filter coffee is a constant recurring theme for me, partly due to the different smells of the same and partly due to the fact that we had a coffee business.

Veg Pulao in Ganesh Bhavan on 13^th Cross next to my school was heavenly, a taste that is deeply embedded in my mind. Bhel Puri in Gomatha Juice Center was out of the world. However, the best Bhel Puri I used to savor was the one prepared by Nagaraja Uncle in a push cart on 8^th main, right opposite our shop. I haven’t tasted a better Bhel/Masala/Pani puri till date.

Kodiyal brought a Mangalorean flavor to the cuisine, but was more of a recent addition. Agarwal’s Bhavan near 18^th Cross Bus-stop was our favorite joint after a Saturday afternoon cricket in Boys High School grounds (where CET Cell is currently housed).  Veena Stores and Idli.. need I say more.. Place to visit on Margosa road which is akin to another pilgrimage. There is one shop opposite Manipal Northside which serves equally good Idlis and I make it a point to have a try now and then. I am sure some would think of Gullu’s Chats but that’s Nehru Nagar and technically Sheshadripuram.

Some other spots of noteworthy mention are Nayak’s condiments on 9^th Cross for Mangalorean Condiments, Chitra Traders previously on Coconut Avenue Road and now closer to Sampige Road for Kerala Pappadams & Banana Chips, Shivasakthi outlet opposite Janata Hotel for their out of the world Tamarind/Menasina Thokku

While food smell was heavenly, there were some natural smells which have been enchanting. The smell from Sampige (Magnolia Champaka) tree next door to my home with it’s different hues of yellow and saffron is heavenly. One of the strongest odors I remember is from a Lingada Hoovu tree (Cannon Ball tree) whose strong odor used to remain with me. There is an old should I call Victorian House on 4^th Main (probably) 8^th cross corner opposite BES School which has this tree. Every time I used to pass this road, the smell from the flowers was ever-lasting. The last vivid smell I used to remember is from Raat Ki Rani (Cestrum nocturnum) which was found in abundance.

The one experience which I cherish till date is to walk through 8^th Cross Road from Margosa Road entrance to Sampige Road during Festivals. The smells and colors of the flowers and hustle-bustle of the shoppers remains an enchanting and exciting sight, an experience which can’t really be described.

Science and Malleshwaram have a long history with Sir C.V.Raman’s house in 15th Cross,  Prof. C.N.R. Rao being a resident and many more well-respected BEL Engineers from this area. Of course, Malleshwaram does share it’s border with I.I.Sc. which remains an inspiration for a lot of us.

Education has a strong connection with a lot of leading institutions of the yore from Malleshwaram. MES College has the reputation of producing some outstanding students. Maharani Lakshmi Ammani and MLA colleges have a repute on their own.

Music also has a deep connection with Sabhas and Matas hosting the musical feasts time and again. Venugopala Swamy temple in 11^th Cross is well known to host some scholars of repute.

This is just a quick (I mean it) recollection of my memories from the treasure trove of my life. However, I have missed quite a lot which I plan to write about in future.

Cosmic Dance of Deaths and Births

Do we die only once? What is death? Questions galore cloud a disturbed mind and voices are heard from every possible direction. An inquisitive mind searches for answers amidst this confusion, while a confused mind is easily perturbed. An observant mind views a clarity right in the middle of this dance...

Body as we know will die once.. Probably.. May not be... There are incidents and individuals who shape our life.. Life is a sum total of all these bitter-sweet experiences, some of which leave a pleasant thought, while human psyche is tuned to remember the ones which leave a depressing feeling inside. 

The first question is whether do we die physically once? I don't think so. There are incidents like accidents that leave an irreparable mark on the physical body which reminds us of something that was altered. This could also be due to operations, self-inflicted or accidental injuries or burns. Some thing in the physical body doesn't exist any more and it's a gradual decay.

The more meta-physical question is about Soul. Multiple schools of philosophy subscribe to the fact that Soul is transferred from one container (body/birth) to another. Well, this explanation could be considered as an abstract explanation of the journey of soul, can it explain the minute experiences that one endures on a daily basis.

Does Soul die and gets birth again? I certainly think so. Life is a journey of multiple major, minor, sub-minor and micro stops. Each of these stops are pre-ordained and much to the dismay of many, none of them are determined or controlled by us. Each of these individual experiences shape our life and impact us permanently.

Some experiences takes away a part of soul and makes us very sad like not receiving attention, love not reciprocated or death or loosing something very dear. Each of the minute incidents are instances where the soul or part of the soul dies. It will be a miracle if the same part of the soul is ever revived. For example, how many can claim that they don't remember loosing their dog or not remembering their first love.. These never go away and pain is eternal.

Similar analogy can be considered for the positive reinforcements or instances where extreme, unadulterated and immeasurable happiness was encountered.

To conclude, the soul undergoes multiple births and deaths within one single physical life. Few are able to comprehend this cosmic dance of deaths and births..

questions

Questions galore grapple my mind
Can you love someone so much
Sheer absence of whom makes you
Tear your heart out, no reasons as such

Wait I do for the evasive call
The voice that soothes my soul
Where is the essence of life, for
You are the one who makes me whole

Wait I will till the horizons die
My love for you is never a lie

answers

Listen to the music of ethos
For in the same lies the secret of life
Symphony of the universe tells
the tales of everlasting joy and strife

Dance of the bow on violin strings
Plays out the notes of the heart
Unknown and unseen are the pains
The drove two souls far apart

Do I need to write for someone
Or Do I write to soothe my soul
Questions for which I don't know answers
Sure I am about one thing, my heart which she stole

anger

Stood on the sidepath
Totally stunned by her anger
Her eyes were piercing
My heart like a dagger

Lovely sweetheart of mine
Soft and tender like a flower
Sudden metamorphosis of hers
Spirit of mine went lower

Oh I wish, I could say
I am sorry dear
Really meant it from inside
You are so far.. yet so near

Time is a healer
For heart needs to cool
Wait I will for eternity
For this is my own rule

Know I do that you will
Turn back into the angel I know
Come to me, you will cos
you are my darling & my beau

symphony

Skeptical, wearing my headphones
I set out on an uncharted sojourn
Music starts to ebb and flow
For the fire is lit and ready to burn

Journey starts off on a silent note
Sounds start off a triffle slow
Waiting for the magic to happen
When the strings are struck by the bow

Violinist started with a capriccio
Flight of the bow let the notes flow
Closing my eyes, music grows inside
Enveloping me in a bright glow

Time flies & leads into accelerato
Dance of emotion accelerates inside
Rising crescendo transports thereafter
Emotion that is about to ignite

Dimension unknown, not walked upon 
Crescendo suddenly takes an unknown bend
Strike of bow becomes long & stretched
Pain inside starts a new trend

Music takes control of my soul
Symphony bridges the gentile
Tears flow uncontrolled and unbridled
Coda releases my spirit from exile

Release the unknown hidden pain
Symphony was the soup for the soul
Space I would like to always reside in
For peace rests at last inside my whole

nature and love

Song of love and passion
Is omni-present in nature
Swing of the leaves to the Gayle
Witnessed by every creature

The gush of the water
Forceful caress on the rock
Is a time-standing testimony
One that goes beyond a clock

Relationship of a bee and flower
Is a talk of the yore
Beauty of the nature is there
For the eternity to adore

Colors formed in the sky
Testament of the rains that fell
Footprint of the water on land
Wait and watch.. only time will tell

Love is present in the creation
Secret of living is the love within
Fathom the passion we have
For our story is yet to begin

two rivers

Come my child, I will tell a story
Story of 2 rivers and romance
Eternal times they stand forever
Saga of blissful love and dance

2 rivers created, flowing their way
Unbridled, showing their might
Lord ordained their union by luck
Flowing they were, completely unhindered in flight

Destiny happened, cross the paths
they did, for unknown to them
Futures were being rewritten by the almighty
Stories that would be precious as gem

Mutual company they enjoyed
Danced their days away in merry
Little did they know life
Future is gonna look very scary

Cross their paths, a mountain did
Choice little did they have but
To split and move in different directions
World around them looked to shut

Confident they were, survival without
Each other, I can stay alone
Company of each other is nice, but
not necessity, it has flown

Forced upon to take different paths
Started to miss each others presence
Loneliness started to impact
Realized they did, impact of distance

Blessing them mercy, God changed
Their course and definitely they met
Loved each others existence
Vowed to repay the God's debt

Realization of love is the ultimate
Goal one should have in life
Lack of love hurts a man
Much more than a  sharp knife

United by god, destined by life
Rivers came together, acknowledged love is the glue
Merging and dancing merrily away
Constantly reminding each other, "I love you"

loser

Aching heart doesn't know
Reasons for the unbearable pain
Expressions miss from the lips
Emotions don't escape the brain

Man becomes a poet
Marrying words to inner notions
Creating an illusion
Weaving together,non existng emotions

Oh lord, here I stand.. a loser
With absolutely no premise
Who desires a reality instead
The one and only.. a silent demise

voyage

"Do you miss someone so bad?"
Is a question I get asked
YES YES my heart wants so say
But emotions I keep masked

Sheer presence electrifies the environs
Makes me want to hug her tight
Absence of her makes me go crazy
Wish I could describe my plight

Images of the life gone by
Pass in front of my eyes
Moments of happiness and sadness
Never knew how time flies

Rest I do, in this serene ground
Feeling free and light
For in front of me stands...
an angel shining bright

Opening her hands in an embrace
Ready for the one final voyage
God blessed me with her company
While the world pays us homage

Separation

Dark it is, everywhere I look
Reason for which I am yet to find
Makes my whole an empty book
Feelings that are inside & confined

Want to cry, I do a lot
Tears come unknowingly down my cheeks
Emptiness sucks the life out
For within the sorrow, truth speaks

Missing from my soul is my spirit
Burden of love I refuse to inherit
I refused to accept her "I love you"
Thoroughly I miss hers' "I will kill you"

Kill me you have, push a dagger
Bleed my heart out, without a single drop
Separation is unbearable & painful
Atleast death will put a full stop

love

Rays of sun break through darkness
Drive away the fear and cold
Warmth and care of your love
I love it when you scold

Compassion overflows in your heart
Love is the ultimate goal
Oh my dear, how will I ever repay
All I can offer is my soul

You are the fire, You are the force
My reason to live, you are the source

Wish the time never stops,
For I would like to fly
Love me forever and ever
For without your love, I will die

world

Sucker punch knocks out the wind
Life hits.. it stays hit, my friend
Unbearable excruciating pain
Who stands to loose and who's to gain

Expectations make one delusional
Apprehensions are far more practical
Trust is an unknown commodity
Doubt is far more classical

Oh my child, world is so cruel
Where the trend is to shove
Still the best feeling that is
It's beautiful to be in love

Love your heart away, Whistle the tunes
Joyously celebrate, the gamut of cartoons

Blate

Streaming rushes, pictures pass by
Story of an era that's gone by
Memories of extreme pain and pleasure
Forever something that I will treasure

Bolt from the blue, you bestowed
an unexpected gift so invaluable
Stirring emotions hidden thus far
Anything that is, but tractable

Flown away to unforeseen lands
Away from suspecting eyes
Brimming with joyous love
Strong reactions that arise

Painful the separation, Killing is the wait
Oh my dear ..where are you, sit and I blate...

The bear and The moon

Song of an eternal time
Sung by a ballad of fame
Story untold and unheard
Age of a bear and his flame

Eons ago, trees grew tall
Connected world became grove
Lived a Tall Grizzly bear
Joyously and Romping who rove

Night befell, dark as it was
Bear was his usual self
Lightning struck, world alight
Stood before him a shining elf

Son, chosen are you by the creator
Change is in the air
Stumped by the sudden words
Stood a thunderstruck bear

Soothing light caressed him
Sight fell on the moon
Yet..Little did he know
For this was his boon

Night after night, gaze went above
Searching for his inspiration
Smiling upon the moon obliged
Tingling heart, beautiful sensation

One night moon didn't come
Heavy became his heart
Inconsolable was the bear
Yet.. pain was about to start

Night after night, ran up the hill
Searching for his love
More he searched, restless he became
Crazier his mind drove

Sitting on the mount, crying his heart away
Searching for his love, fighting his tears
Praying god fervently, at least for a moment
Paining inside, heart full of doubt & fears

Rest my child, story is yet to behold
Love of bear and the moon is about to unfold

eternal dance

Shadows of the grills
Mushy smell of the rooms
Tales of an age gone by
Uncertainty of the day that looms

Slow hum of the player
Plays the eternal tune
Transports me to a different age
Makes me want to croon

Drawing you closer, Clasping our hands
For we about to start, The eternal love dance
Faces closer, I can feel your breath
Makes me stronger, for the impending death

Age is a number, younger I feel
Years gone by, heart beats for you
Whisper into your ears, away I sing
The sweetest sound that is.. I love you..

moments

Romantic vibes in crimson hue
Painting the sky is the sun
Am looking and waiting for a cue
Compared to you, there is none

Holding hands, feeling the warmth
Walk we do, away into the sunset
Every new wave hits the shore
Washes away the previous footstep

Hair dances in the soothing breeze
Deep eyes that hypnotize
Sheer touch that electrifies me
Love that I fail to disguise

Time seems an eternity
I take a pause.. Oh dear!!
Future is something unknown..
Loves the moments we spent together

God.. Pause these moments
Pray I do to cast a spell
For without you, life is a living hell

effervescence

Essence of spirit that flows
Formless aura that engulf
Shapeless vigour that flows
It is what defines me, myself


This is in response to a Facebook post that asked "Describe Soul in a single word".. My choice "effervescence"

The wait

Deep eyes that dazzle me
Spoketh to me tons of untold stories
Smooth hair flowing like a gazelle
Making me forget about life's glories

Smile that lights up my soul
Laughter that drives away many a fear
Touch that electrifies me.. Transfixed..
You have become my lovely dear

Now I stand with closed eyes..
Behold the mammoth of the ocean
Tears rolling down the cheeks
Unable to control my emotion

Oh my love..where have you been..
Soul and spirit are fading
Spike the life back into me
Enough..I am done with waiting

Right or Wrong

Morning 2 AM

“Click.. Click.. Delta Charlie Oh two Oh one Oh one to ATC…Over..”

“Come in Delta Charlie Oh two Oh one Oh one.. Over..”

“Requesting Permission to land urgently in KIA.. Code Red…Over..”

“ETA .. Over..”

“30 Minutes .. Over…”

“Runway 3A.. Over..”

“Thank you… Over and Out…”

Reminiscing the last 8 hours, I sit like a statue in the plane. There is a lot of hustle and bustle around me, but I am transported to a different dimension. My friend Hamid has his arm in a warm gesture, but today, I am not ready to accept the reality. The gravity of the situation has already killed me and I am already a Ghost.

“Kausalya Supraja Rama….” Plays the traditional wake-up song in every Brahmin’s house in the Agrahara. Bhagyamma was putting the traditional Rangoli in front of the house. Janardhana Sastry was performing his daily Sandhya vandana. Like a hustle, two children run into the Pooja room dressed in their traditional attire. Their bare bodies with the Jannu make them a living form of Vamana murthy, one of the many avatars of the Lord Vishnu. Shankaranarayana (Shanku) was the elder one and was like a father figure to the bubby Krishnamurthy (Kicha). The two boys took their appointed places and started their daily ritual.

I was still staring at the report in disbelief. What if there was a remote chance if this could be false? Being in the elite commando squad, I know that the chance are absolutely ZERO. Slowly for the umpteenth time, tears run down my cheeks. Hamid’s hand pressure increases, clearly trying to comfort me. 

“ETA 10 minutes.. Get Ready…”

The two boys grow up in traditional Brahmin household, combining their studies and vedic studies. Quickly, the built up quite a reputation of being the role models in the agraharam. Bhagyamma and Janardhana Sastry couldn’t have been more prouder… For Kicha, Shanku was all he wanted to become.. For Shanku, Kicha was more of a kid than brother.. There was brotherly love, fatherly respect between them…

Knowing that duty comes first, I go through the checklist. Trying the never tried before, we all go through the safety checks again. Elite team of 8 commands with me as their leader was something never planned for the kind of operation before. We all get into our respective vehicles, boring into the umpteen darkness that lies beyond the door. Hearts pumping and Adrenaline increasing, we all await for the proverbial orange light. Darkness holds so many secrets to be unraveled.

Shanku fell head over heels on Sharadha, his mama’s daughter. Stealing glances, the adolescence and hormones egged him on. He had confided in Kicha who was very happy for his role model. Tragedy struck Shanku when Sharadha’s marriage was fixed with another groom. Unable to express his love or the disappointment, he receded into a shell and became a part of his former self. Kicha noticed the sadness in Shanku, but was bound by his promise to him. Kicha told Shanku to consider his career, but clearly something had changed in Shanku’s mind and slowly, he made up his mind. He wanted to go away from Agraharam and expressed his desire to pursue higher education far away from home. Janardhana Sastry’s world was changing and he was at cross-roads not wanting to hurt his son’s desires. Reluctantly, they agreed for Shanku to join NDA and continue his education.

“ETA 30 seconds..”

The dreaded orange light and the horn start beeping. The door starts receding slowly and we know that the plane is on the runway. The runway starts becoming visible and the black tar with the florescent lights against the dark sky await us. The door becomes a ramp and we get a green signal.. Go.. Go.. Go… We rev up our engines and slowly start accelerating our bikes. Slowly, the bikes start coming out of the rear door in pairs.. My friend Hamid is just in front of me and I close my eyes, let a slow prayer go, touch my left shoulder and kick my engine..

Shanku excelled in academics, but what surprised most was the ability of the diminutive Brahmin at extremely physical tasks. To get his mind over Sharadha, Shanku started building up an impressive body and started making strides within the Army. Impressed by his intellect and skills, he was recommended by his platoon commander to the elite commandos. Shanku met with a lot of other boys of his age and slowly they formed a closely knit group and bond between them went beyond brothers. 

In the meantime, Kicha grew up to be a studious boy and was enrolled in Medical College. Janardhana Sastry was ecstatic over the progress of his two sons and thanked Shriman Narayana at every opportunity. Kicha was good at studies, but hormones hit him the moment he saw Neha. Stealing glances, he was in love with Neha. Life seemed beautiful and sky was painted in a hue of deep red.

“Comm Check..” “Check…”

 “Time to target 1 hour..”

 “Let’s rock and roll boys ..”

Vroom Vrooom… The engines kicked in full power.. The bikes were floating on the black tarmac.. We got out of the VIP gate of the airport, unseen from common eyes.. All one could see was 2 neat rows of bikes with a leader in the behind. As we approached the exit of the Airport Road and joined the road leading into the city, the heart pumping got faster and engines were working overtime. 9 bikes speeding in excess of 150 kmph and in a neat formation was impressive.. Except there were no watchers as the roads had been cleared and it was 2.45 AM in the morning. 

“Captain.. Captain..”

“Yes”

“There is an emergency.. You are requested..”

My mind went to the conversation that was about to change my life forever.

“Captain .. Come in….At ease..”

“There is a situation in a resort close to Bangalore… We need your team… Plane up in 3 hours.. Whatever information you require are in this file.. Leader is wanted dead or alive”

“Yes Sir…”

“This is a special situation.. You see everything is very discreet… So you take your best men.. Let’s say a lot of vested interests are in this operation..”

“Yes Sir..”

“That shall be it.. Good luck…”

I place a call for an urgent team assembly and walk towards my office. I open the file and start reading the contents.. And stopped dead in my tracks..

Love does wonders to one’s heart. Kicha had a beautiful life going all along and Neha, his muse was the perfect wife he was looking forward. One day, taking courage, Kicha went and proposed to Neha. Neha was blushed, but was embarrassed. She was already in a relationship and though she admired Kicha, she politely declined the offer.

Kicha had been brought up in a loving household and was able to handle this heart break. He focused all his energies on his studies, though he couldn’t take his heart out of Neha. He became a silent admirer and a reluctant introvert. Life seemed mundane and routine, until one day. Early morning, he finished his Sandhya Vandana and was walking towards the library, when one of his friends came running up to him. The news shattered him that he just stood like a statue. Neha had died… WHAT !!!!

Kicha couldn’t believe his ears. His friend was shouting out to him, but he couldn’t hear.. His whole world and the whole reason of his existence ceased to live. After a lot of physical shaking, he came to his senses. Tears in eyes, he enquired what had transpired. She had died of Drug Overdose.. What … This can’t be happening… When? How?.... Apparently, her boyfriend was rich and had friends all around.. A birthday party had turned into a horror when Neha was administered with what became a fatal dose..

Kicha collapsed… He became a living corpse. Shanku didn’t have an iota of inkling of what was happening in his brother’s life. The calls had become sporadic with Shanku’s promotion to captain and Kicha focusing more and more on his studies. After the 11^th day, Kicha woke up, had a bath. That day, he was very ferocious in his pooja.. A steely determination had taken birth in his mind… He did the unthinkable.. He took the plunge that no one expected to take…

WHAT.. This can’t be happening.. Is this report true? Thousands of questions were popping in my mind.. The whole world around seemed spinning. The report was about a top vigilante who had become very notorious leader, Christian DeMute. He had built an impressive record of his hatred towards the wealthy, which didn’t go down well with the powerful. I read and re-read the report multiple times. As I reached office, my world had shattered and was looking into those deep black eyes of Christian DeMute

That seemed a long time back, considering that we were 10 minutes away from our destination. Parking our bikes, we took a hilly trek with our Gear. This was routine for all of us having done this much earlier multiple times. Yet, the mission we have embarked upon this time was different. This wouldn’t ever happen again in my life and this was a life-altering decision. Hamid came to me and asked..”Captain… Are you sure…” I said, “Yes.. Hamid”

We moved in stealthy and took up our positions.. The Vigilante camp resembled a rowdy gang of college kids.. They were in fact college kids not long ago, but were sucked into this group due to one reason or other. We checked our targets through periscopes. My sight was solely on the leader, Christian DeMute. He looked very reserved and lost in thoughts. The eyes looked dead, but were all too familiar for me.

“Snip..” “Snip..” “Snip…” The night sky was lit up by the barrage of bullets flying from different directions. Before the group could fathom what hit them, the whole group was decimated. The leader was killed by a single shot right in between the eyes.

The commando team moved towards the slain group to take stock. 15 vigilantes were shot dead. The leader’s face seemed serene in death. I walked up to him, closed his eyes and started breaking down.

I am Capt. Shankar Narayana Sastry. The dead corpse of Christian DeMute was none other than my kid brother, Krishnamurthy Sastry. Neha’s death had forced him to become a vigilante and he had taken a personal pledge to eradicate the rich who flaunt their wealth around. The wealthy who were the reason for the death of his dear Neha.

I silently gaze into the face of my kid brother. I had fired the bullet right into the place where I used to keep the kumkum after our Sandhya Vandana everyday in our childhood.

Who is right and who is wrong? Me for having done my duty .. Or my brother who tried to correct a wrong in the society.. Torn between the question, I stand with the dead body of my Kicha… 

Disclaimer: This is purely a fictional story that came into my mind exactly this way. If there is any resemblance to earlier piece of work, please do leave a comment and I will take remedial actions.